


All Around Me

by Stormchild



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-07
Updated: 2014-03-07
Packaged: 2018-01-14 21:03:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1278727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormchild/pseuds/Stormchild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bertholdt misses Reiner, even when he’s right there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Around Me

Sleeping back to back had started as a habit. The easiest way to protect themselves while they slept. There had been a few cracks about them sharing a bed at first, the two of them cramped together unnecessarily. Reiner had shrugged them off but it made Bertholdt so anxious. It stopped eventually, and completely when it came out that they’d escaped a titan attack. Could anyone fault them for wanting to stay close?

_“I’ll protect you, Bertl. I promise. Don’t cry.”_

Time went by and their hands stopped finding each other in the dark. Reiner was pulling away. Carving a place into this lie of a life where Bertholdt couldn’t. They didn’t talk the way they used to. The hushed whispers turned into heavy silence.

It weighed heavy on Bertholdt’s heart. Reiner’s laugh at something Jean said. The arm he draped briefly over Marco’s shoulders. The broad grin he flashes at Annie. Barely a glance spared for Bertholdt some days.

—

Bertholdt was exhausted but sleep wouldn’t overtake him. His arms were wrapped tight around himself, but they were no substitute for Reiner’s. He was so close to Reiner, their shoulders touching, but the loneliness was overwhelming. He had no-one but Reiner in this place.

Rolling over, Bertholdt buried his face in between Reiner’s shoulder blades. The feeling of Reiner’s heart beat was enough to settle the anxiety of having the back of his neck exposed. Reiner shifted, just barely, but didn’t awake. Long fingers fisted in Reiner’s shirt, the fabric becoming damp with Bertholdt’s tears.

Reiner brushed it off in the morning. A bad dream, maybe. Nothing more. Bertholdt didn’t say anything about it, so neither did Reiner.

—

Training was never enjoyable, but today was worse than usual. Rain had made the terrain slick. But they needed to learn to move in this. Jean had already slipped and fallen once. Mikasa barely caught him, and he still hadn’t stopped fawning over it.

So far, Reiner hadn’t been having too much trouble. He could see Bertholdt moving from the corner of his eye.

The slip happened so quickly that Bertholdt barely had time to register what was happening. One moment he was gliding through the air, the next he was falling. His equipment was jammed, and he couldn’t fix is mid-air. A scream filled the air. He didn’t notice it was coming from him until he heard Reiner frantically calling his name.

Reiner wasted no time, changing directions without hesitation. That scream tore his heart in half.

_“I’ll protect you, Bertl. I promise. Don’t cry.”_

Reiner swung down, only just managing to catch Bertholdt. Hands clung to him, a frantic sound making it to his ears.

“Rei-“

“I got you.”

Reiner set Bertholdt down. His arms wrapped around Berthold for just a moment, holding his head to Reiner’s chest.

“Are you okay?”

“It just- jammed. I’m fine.”

Reiner nodded, and took off again. Bertholdt quickly fixed the jam and followed suit.

—

“You scared me there, Bertholdt.”

“I- sorry.”

For the first time in what felt like ages, they were lying facing each other. Reiner’s fingers stroked over Bertholdt’s skin, while Berthold kept his eyes down.

“Don’t be. I promised I would protect you.”

“You shouldn’t have to.”

There was a rustling, and they went silent for a moment.

“I miss you, Reiner.”

“What? I sleep next to you every night.”

Bertholdt didn’t say anything. He couldn’t find the words to explain how much his heart hurt. How much he needed Reiner to be his Reiner again. Not the front he put on for everyone else.

Reiner sighed, pulling Bertholdt in close. A hand found its way to the back of his neck. Bertholdt let out a long, content sigh.

“I love you,” he mumbled.

“I love you too, Bertl. Let me make it up to you.”

Bertholdt gave a slow nod. With Reiner’s arms tight around him, it was difficult not to feel like there was little left to make up for.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at mechanicalpoet.tumblr.com.


End file.
